As stated my wife left. She decided she wanted a separation. She had an affair two months ago. we tried to work through it and she couldn’t do it. so she tells me she wants to separate in hopes that will fix things. However a couple days later she tells me she still cares for this other guy and doesn’t know what she wants right now. we talked about it and I understood. we decided that for the separation we would not date anyone till we figured out what we want to do. last night though she went to tell her brother and his family about the separation (I am close with them) they call me about 2 minutes after she leaves asking me if I want to come witness this for myself because she called told them we are splitting up and want them to meet her new boyfriend. So I went over there and hid in the stairway down to their basement and sure enough she comes over with him. She played the “poor me” card on them saying I don’t pay any attention to her and spend all my time in front of the computer which I’m actually barely in front of the computer at all and sitting on the couch with her. What actually happened and her reasoning’s to me for all this was that we grew apart and she always felt like things would fail so she never bothered to try. So after they left I text her and asked her to come [tag]home[/tag] and made up a lie about how I found out so she wouldn’t get mad at her brother and his family. I told her that when she text me asking me where I was going that it struck me as odd because she had left a few minutes before me so I drove by her brothers house and saw the guy in there with her. Which of course made her mad which in turn made me mad. So we argued for a bit and then calmed down and talked rationally. In which once again she told me that we had grown apart and that she cared for this guy. i asked her why she told me that she wasn’t going to get involved with anyone till she figured things out and here she was already introducing her family to her new boyfriend. She said because she was confused about what she wanted and didn’t want to hurt me and said that she may very well be gone a few days and realize she needs me. I replied telling her that I should be in the know of these things because i can’t be the back up guy for is things fall through with him. we talked for a while longer and it was revealed to me that she didn’t know where he lived and he didn’t know where she lived and that the one time they had had sex they met up at a hotel room one day while I was at work. She refuses to tell me anymore than that even though i’m glutton for punishment and want all the details she just says it’s none of my [tag]business[/tag] but if she decided she wanted to work things out then she would tell me everything. as far as not knowing where the guy lives puts me into suspicions that A) the guy is married B)has a live in girlfriend C) doesn’t want anything serious and will toss her aside once he gets bored even though he pushed for the relationship. At this point even though I love my wife and I truly want to spend my life with her I know that it’s not something I can pursue because she has repeatedly lied to me. My question is how do I move past all the hurt and anger I am feeling? right now it just seems so overwhelming and I miss her so much. which is insane because it’s obvious she has moved on with her life even though she says she hasn’t moved on 100% yet.
